Getting fitness back

Recently, I’ve started with a personal trainer to help get my fitness back after the year of intense treatment.

Now, pre-cancer, I wasn’t the fittest person. I was a UK size 16/18, I kickboxed once a week, but had a pretty sedentary job and didn’t have the best eating habits. I’d skip meals if I was busy, graze on sugary foods and overeat. I’d have periods where I was run down, my eating was driven very much by mood and menstrual cycle.

Since cancer, I’ve had a year where I’ve been physically recovering, my arm and shoulder are healing after being cut open and irradited, not to mention the chemotherapy drugs that have pumped round my whole body. Through treatment I ate what tasted ok and that I could face eating, which the constant oral thrush didn’t help with either. As with most people, the pandemic has contributed to my physical decline, the mandated lockdowns and having to shield for most of 2020 has kept me housebound even when I’ve been well enough to get out. Now, post cancer, I’m menopausal, get regular bouts of fatigue and I have an array of body and joint aches on a daily basis.

I think a lot on my walks or whilst working out. I’ve been finding I’ve been reflecting on a few of the sayings that often get thrown around when you talk to people about losing weight or getting fitter. I’m not sure I’ve found one I like yet – absolutely open to suggestions here, let me know if there is a good one!

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”

I hate this saying. As someone who eats when stressed or tired, it’s not helpful. I have a history of working in mental health too, and this just grates against me in so many ways. This just implies that all the thinner people in the world are walking round going “I’m automatically happier than that larger person, because I’m in a healthier weight category.” It’s rubbish and unhelpful.

“What you eat in private, you’ll wear in public”

People who eat in private (which has included me) don’t need the threat of extra shame. Not helpful.

“Nothing worthwhile is ever easy”

Bollocks. There are some easy things in life that are absolutely worthwhile. You’re only more appreciative of the things that take more effort to get, because they’re more conscious effort. There are also some things I’ve done that have been a lot of effort and have been pointless in the end.

“Don’t let anyone work harder than you do”

I get what this is aiming for, but everyone’s an individual. Like me, for example, not everyone has to manage fatigue and physical recovery. Other people will end up working harder than me as I have to make sure I’m not pushing myself too much into an energy debt. However, as long as I’m pushing myself and making progress, that’s what matters. If you push yourself harder everyday, at some point you’ll crash. It’s ok to take a break once in a while.

I want to just stress, that thankfully, my PT has never given me a motivational mantra like the ones above. She’s been brilliant and really supportive in adapting to my needs so far. I’ve already noticed a massive difference in fatigue and energy levels. I’ll keep you posted how it goes, but I’m positive about the progress so far.